When life brings you down, don't eat...get a plan!

I am an emotional eater.  I get upset, I eat.  I get mad, I eat.  I am wronged, I eat.  And I don't eat things that are good for me...oh no, I eat crap.  And the worst thing is, the crap tastes like crap.  And I know it is bad for me.  But, I do it anyway.  And you know why, because I know that the crap I put in my mouth, will make me feel more angry and more mad and more sad.  I will feel like a loser...a failure.

Well, in order to get yourself ready for gastric bypass you have to start thinking differently.  You have to look at those actions and call them for what they are...a crutch.  You have to stop being your own worse enemy.  You have to take responsibility for letting others decide your destiny.  Will there be times where you slip up and eat crap?  Dear Lord yes!  But even those times, you must name it for what it is.  But how do you do that?

Somebody disappoints you.  They let you down.  Do you eat cake?  No, you tell them they disappointed you , then you put a plan in place so it doesn't happen again.

You are overlooked for a promotion.  Do you eat cookies?  No, you talk to you manager and find out why you were overlooked and put a plan in place to remedy the issue.

Somebody calls you fat or another heinous name.  Do you make pancakes?  NO!  You tell them you are working on yourself.  You tell them you are not where you want to be, but you are on track to be there.  And you double down on your exercise.  You have a plan.  You are amazing.  You got this.

Food is not our friend.  Food is energy needed to make us spectacular.  It is a tool to help us function and be healthy and happy.

You are your best friend.  You can make a difference in your own life.  Be strong!

Next time you shop...bring a magnifying glass

Have you ever noticed how SMALL nutrition facts are on labels?  I am old...my eyes are weak...but I HAVE TO READ THE LABELS!!!  You ask why?

Here is a news flash...YOU CANNOT LOSE WEIGHT AND KEEP IT OFF IF YOU DO NOT EAT HEALTHY FOOD!!!! 

But you say...food is  food.  I buy chicken and some rice package that says it is healthy and some veggies and all is good.  Really?  All is good?  That rice package?  Did you check the sodium?  

Let's look at this one...sorry Uncle Ben...Uncle Ben's ready rice chicken flavored whole grain brown rice.  Now we all have been told that whole grain is awesome.  And brown rice is better than white rice?

This is the scoop on this one....

Do you see the sodium is 710 mg per serving? 41 g of Carbohydrate?  That doesn't sound wonderful?  Regular brown rice has 10mg of sodium per serving.  I think you would be better off with that.  And if you just left the rice off of your plate..you can see where I am going with this?

But, you have to do your research.  You have to read every label.  You have to take your time shopping.  If not, you will never lose and keep the weight off.  You will never get rid of those pills and aches and pains.  You must eat well...so read your labels!!!!

Being strong is hard...this is why we fail....

I have a sweet tooth...actually I have a whole set of sweet teeth.  I love bakery items and especially the sweet rendering of a little bakery called Rachel K's in Washington, NC.  She is very talented and her food is amazing.  My true love is her chocolate croissants.  I have dreams about them,  The only thing I asked for on my birthday was...Rachel K.  It is that good or bad

So yesterday I was getting my hair done down the street from Rachel K's.  The sweetest girls work at the salon.  Capelli by the way.  They walked down to Rachel's to get dinner while I was processing.  And guess what they brought back for me?  chocolate croissant!!!  I said no thank you...you eat it.  Miracle, right?  Then I had to watch them eat it.  I know I looked at the croissant like it was God's answer to salvation...but I held fast.  The brought back a whole bag of wonderful pastries and I held firm.

Was I happy? NO But, I know I am killing myself.  I know the answer is in my hands.  I know that surgery and healthy living tastes better than a croissant...well, maybe just as good.

Stand tall dear friends!!!

Embracing the process

The road to surgery is long and complicated.  Besides the soul searching and doubt is the winding road of insurance and doctors and nutritionists.  Then there is the different patients...some patients are trying to get healthy, some are dealing with life or death situations, some are tired of dieting.  Some patients are very well educated and some aren't.  But to get to surgery, we all have to go through the same process with the same people.  There is no variation.

So be calm...this will not all happen over night.  Crap I have been at it for almost a year now.  But I see the future and it is beautiful.

Keep dieting...keep focused...and keep moving my friends!

Trouble with going when I am losing

Oh no I am active...plenty of exercise...I mean going...yep that one.  The problem I think is the lack of roughage.  When you are getting ready for surgery you have a lot of liquid meals.  Even though the protein shakes have some fiber, it is not enough to keep things cleaned out.  And that can make you irritable and bloated.

How do you get around it?  Well, I have tried many things.  What I have found is to add fiber to the shakes.  I have bought citrucel and tried it but the orange flavor really didn't work for me.  Then I tried miralax.  And that was wonderful.  I put some in my shakes twice a day and it keeps things going. It also didn't cause a massive increase in gas.  Metamucil will really stir up the gas!  The increase protein and lack of fiber is stressful to our systems.

Even if you don't experience this during prep, post surgery you definitely will.  Miralax uses the water you drink to help prepare your system.  If you still are having issues, try a stool softener.  Sometimes it isn't the creation, but the travel :-)

Hang in there my friends!

Some days I am so lazy...what do I eat?

I am normally very serious about cooking a healthy meal at night.  It is my only real meal during  the day.  I normally have a protein shake for breakfast and lunch.  But some days after work I am beat.  Just had it.  Now the tricky thing is I live 10 miles from the nearest restaurant and it is greasy fast food.  So I have to be ready to prepare something. UGH!!!

So I stock some things as go to meals in the freezer and pantry.  Things that don't expire or require alot of drama to whip up.

My favorites? 

Frozen Turkey burgers.  Lean meat and quick to pan cook.  You can jazz them up with what you have handy

Frozen veggies.  Add them to the burger and you have a meal.  They keep forever.

Frozen rice.  If you have a Trader Joe's, stock up.  The rice comes in packages and you just nuke them.  Nothing added.  Awesome.  If  you don't have a Trader Joe's look for frozen rice in your grocery store.  But buy the kind without salt and seasoning. IF your grocery doesn't stock this, look for a pre-cooked rice in a package that has nothing added.  It will make your life easier.

Tuna in the package.  I prefer while albacore.  Can be whipped into a salad quickly.

Pita/wraps - I keep a couple packages in the freezer.  Take any of the above and stuff it in a pita or wrap and you have dinner.  Add side or fruit or yogurt and life is truly good.

Canned beans - I always buy my faves in reduced sodium/vegetarian.  A turkey burger over black beans is awesome.  Make sure and rinse them so you get rid of extra salt, etc.

What do you say...can I have some Satay?

Why yes you can!!!!  I love a good satay sauce..the fatty creamy peanut butter, the fatty creamy coconut milk and all the other fatty delicious ingredients that make you swoon.  But on a diet?  You can achieve that same nirvana without the calories and FAT!!!

Instead of peanut butter how about almond butter?  It is better for you without all the fat.
Instead of coconut milk how about light coconut milk?  Much less fat.

2 tablespoons of almond butter.
2+ tablespoons of lite coconut milk (Start with 2 tablespoons then add some if too thick)
1 tablespoon of lime juice
2 teaspoons of reduce-sodium soy sauce
1 teaspoon or more to taste of sweet chili sauce

Whisk the almond butter, coconut milk, lime, soy, and chili until smooth.

I personally find that putting it on the stove on low heat and whisking it makes live so much easier.

I usually serve this with turkey meatballs, veggie noodles, and bok choy.
I just discovered bok choy and I am in love.  Slice it in thin strips then sautee in a little olive oil and garlic and ginger.  Just soooo good.

Enjoy!  If you have any questions, just ask the Fat Girl!!!

Inspire PURE Unflavored Protein..I give it a F-

I am preparing for surgery so I have been trying to get used to consuming lots and lots of protein.  I knew that I would have to sneak protein in where ever I could.  Including, soups and broths.  So I searched out for a good protein powder that had no flavor and could be mixed in with hot items.

So I turned to Inspire PURE unflavored protein.  32.99 for 20 serving was steep but I thought I would not be using for every meal.  Just sparingly.  So I followed the following instructions...

To Use: Blend 1/2 scoop with a tablespoon of liquid before folding into or blending into larger quantities. Blend ‘liquid’ Pure into hot soup, V8 juice, fruit smoothies, chili, stews, refried beans, pudding, chicken pot pie, or any semi-liquid food or liquid. Pure does not affect the taste or texture of the liquids or foods that it is blended with. 

I did just use about 1/4 of a scoop and 1 tablespoon of water.  Then I put it in a cup of decaf coffee.  Dear LORD what a disaster.  The protein powder clumped in little bits and was disgusting.  It was like when I used powdered creamer in the old days. Just awful.  I stirred and stirred trying to get it to un clump.  I just dumped it out.  I guess it really is not the product I thought it would be.

I have used it in cold smoothies and it was fine.  Just not in hot.  I guess I will keep searching....

Bariatric Psychology Questionnaire....Am I too crazy to have surgery?

Yep...I have my own personal underground garage :-)  Part of the process of having weight loss surgery is seeing a psychologist.  Now, I understand that they want to make sure you do not have any evil lurking issues to address before they do this major surgery.  You have to be in the right frame of mind.

I was sent a 20+ page document/questionnaire to fill out.  Now, I have had people question my sanity many times but some of the questions asked on this form started to make me think I was totally normal.  Then I took a step back and realized, the poor people who answer yes to some of these questions.  They must feel so out of control and in so much pain.  To not be able to control your binge eating...even in the middle of the night.  To binge and purge...over and over again.

I filled out the document and skipped the parts they told me to.  Then I went back and read those parts.  It made me feel sad and lucky at the same time.  I am sad that there is so much pain in this world.  And our self image can be so tortured by what we weigh and how we look.  And lucky, because even though I am obese...morbidly so, I have a positive outlook on life.  I see my weight as an attribute of my body not as the definition of who I am.  Do I wish I did not weigh so much? YES  Do I think if I weighed less I would be a better person? NO...I would be thinner and healthier.  I would still be an awesome person regardless.

If somebody reads this who is struggling with their weight, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE..know you are special and fabulous at any weight.  Your weight does not define who you are.  Your actions and kindness define you.

If somebody who loves somebody who is struggling with their weight reads this, PLEASE BE KIND.  How you approach somebody who is struggling can make the difference in them getting help and continuing to struggle.  Do not ignore the issue, just be KIND.

Stress eaters unite..you know who you are!!!!

Ahh yes...the eating of all things sweet when I am stressed.  I forage through the cabinets and refrigerator looking for anything bad for me and sugary sweet.  I've been known to eat semi sweet chocolate bits.

Why bring that up now?  Well I am oncall this week at work.  Calls coming in all times of the day and night.  Stressful situations...so I feel a slip starting.  So what can I do to keep myself on track?  Well there is a few things.

1.  Try to manage your stress.  Yeah, that one makes me laugh too.  BUT, you can add a little more exercise the weeks you know you are having alot of stress.  If you are visiting relatives or relatives are visiting you, just take an extra long walk. Or when they say awful things to you, just think of something funny in your head.  I know, this is the hard one. Sleep when you can, and be kind to yourself.

2. Purge Purge Purge the bad foods from your house.  If you are dieting, you should have already done this.  If not, stand in that pantry and get rid of anything that might tempt you.  Even the baking chocolate.

3.  Fill your fridge with quick healthy meals and snacks.  The urge to fill the stress with food will happen.  When it does, try some yogurt or fruit.  It makes it so much easier to do if you have those in the house.  When you are stressed, you don't have the energy to make a meal.  Make sure you have healthy meals frozen or frozen turkey patties and frozen veggies available.  You can make a quick meal without the stress.  And my go to when I am oncall, anything in the crockpot.  Dump low cal ingredients in the crockpot and let it go.

4.  Try to be kind to yourself.  If you go off the ranch, then don't beat yourself up.  Stand up and brush yourself off and do better tomorrow.  If we were perfect, life would be boring.

Need a good recipe for the crock-pot?  From Cooking Light with less than 200 calories a serving!

Three-Bean Vegetarian Chili

This soup has a mild chile flavor. If you want more heat, increase the amount of chili powder and don't seed the jalapeños.

• Yield: 8 servings (serving size: 1 cup soup, 1 tablespoon sour cream, 1 tablespoon cheese, and 1 1/2 teaspoons cilantro)

Ingredients

• 1 3/4 cups organic vegetable broth
• 1 cup chopped onion
• 1/4 cup chopped seeded jalapeño pepper (2 peppers)
• 2 teaspoons chili powder
• 2 teaspoons ground cumin
• 2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 2 (15-ounce) cans no-salt-added black beans, rinsed and drained
• 2 (14.5-ounce) cans diced tomatoes, undrained
• 1 (15-ounce) can no-salt-added pinto beans, rinsed and drained
• 1 (15-ounce) can no-salt-added kidney beans, rinsed and drained
• 1/2 cup reduced-fat sour cream
• 2 ounces shredded Monterey Jack cheese with jalapeño peppers (about 1/2 cup)
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro

• Preparation

  1. Combine first 12 ingredients in a 6-quart electric slow cooker. Cover and cook on LOW for 8 hours.
  2. Ladle soup into bowls; top with sour cream, cheese, and cilantro.

  Nutritional Information

  Amount per serving

  • Calories 197
   
  • Caloriesfromfat 0.0 %
   
  • Fat 3.8 g
   
  • Satfat 2.3 g
   
  • Monofat 1.1 g
   
  • Polyfat 0.2 g
   
  • Protein 11.2 g
   
  • Carbohydrate 28.9 g
   
  • Fiber 8.9 g
   
  • Cholesterol 8 mg
   
  • Iron 2.8 mg
   
  • Sodium 591 mg
   
  • Calcium 129 mg

Saturday yum day!

I love Saturday...it has so much promise.  I made a list for WalMart and me and hubby took off.  Now, I am a southern girl who lives in this little town.  I have a Food Lion and a WalMart.  Neither stocks unique or wonderful ingredients.  Sometimes I have to just make do.  This was one of those weekends.

I had a recipe that called for miso...no.  Not gonna find that.  So I improvised.

Saturday's recipe was again from Cooking Light.  I only eat bread on the weekend and if we have french bread, I scoop out the middle so there is just a tiny bit of bread left.  For this recipe, I hollowed it out then toasted the bread to hold the filling.  I also use almond milk instead of regular milk.  I suggest cutting the milk to a cup.  You can always add later.  I served this with a fruit salad.  It was a hit.  It says it is a sloppy joe but to us it tasted more like beef stroganaff on a sandwich.

Turkey and Swiss 

Sloppy Joes

YIELDServes 4 (serving size: 1 sandwich)

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon canola oil
• 12 ounces ground turkey breast
• 2 cups thinly sliced kale
• 1 cup chopped onion
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 4 ounces presliced mushrooms
• 1 1/2 cups 2% reduced-fat milk
• 1 1/2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 3 ounces Swiss cheese, shredded (about 3/4 cup)
• 3/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 4 whole-wheat hamburger buns

• How to Make It

  1. Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high. Add turkey; cook 6 minutes or until browned, stirring to crumble. Add kale, onion, thyme, garlic powder, and mushrooms; cook 6 minutes, stirring occasionally.
  2. Whisk together milk and flour. Add milk mixture to pan; bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer 5 minutes or until thickened. Remove pan from heat; stir in cheese, pepper, and salt. Spoon about 3/4 cup turkey mixture onto each bun.

Monday...ugh but a good food weekend!

I really do NOT like Mondays!  The weekend is always so much fun and relaxing.  Wake up when you want...do what you want...watch TV.  I have a ton of hobbies so there is always something waiting for me to explore. I paint, sew, and really like to cook and bake.  Baking is off the list right now, but the others are ready and waiting.

My work is very brain intensive so I find peace in my hobbies.  I started Friday night.  I have a subscription to Cooking Light magazine.  Of all the magazines I have received through the years,  this has been the best investment I have ever made.  When you are on a diet, you get sick of the same food over and over again.  The magazine gives me ideas on how to try something different.  And for that, I am thankful.  The pictures get me excited about cooking.  Sooo...on Friday after work I made these amazing Brownie Energy Bites.  The recipe calls for hazelnuts but I do not like them, so I substituted pecans. Sometimes something as simple as  this can lift your spirits.  Dinner was cod with black beans and sauteed spinach with onions and garlic.  Even my husband was impressed.

Brownie Energy Bites

ACTIVE TIME20 mins

TOTAL TIME1 hr, 10 mins

YIELDServes 20 (serving size: 1 brownie bite)

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup whole hazelnuts
• 12 whole Medjool dates, pitted and roughly chopped
• 2/3 cup almond butter
• 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa
• 2 tablespoons water
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

How to Make It

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. Spread nuts on a small rimmed baking sheet. Bake at 350°F until lightly toasted, about 10 minutes, stirring once. Cool 10 minutes. Rub off skins. Reserve 20 hazelnuts. Pulse remaining hazelnuts in a food processor until finely chopped; transfer chopped nuts to a small bowl.
3. Pulse dates in food processor until almost pastelike. Add almond butter, cocoa, 2 tablespoons water, vanilla, and salt; process until well combined. Turn mixture out into a bowl; divide into 20 equal portions. Roll each portion around 1 whole hazelnut to form a ball. (Mixture will be oily.) Roll each brownie ball in chopped hazelnuts to coat. Chill until firm, about 30 minutes.

What makes you so special?

I have admitted that I am Fat...then I blog about how to lose weight.  I tell you I am definitely going to have bariactric surgery, then I go on about what to eat.  Hmmmm...seems kinda crazy right?

Well, if you are thinking of having some kind of surgery, know you will have to spend 6 months to a year proving you are eligible and worthy.  It doesn't matter if you have a BMI of 50 or not.  You still have to go through  the drill.  And it has to be monitored.  So if you think you are ready to start the process, then go see a surgeon and start the process.  You will have to prove you are dieting and exercising.  You will go to the doctors monthly and be questioned and poked.  Then the actually process starts with psychologists and tests and more monitoring.

So start now.  Go see the surgeon.

I am 7 months into this journey.  I started off at about 300 pounds. I am down to 240.  I still have 100 pounds to go.  Amazing huh?  But is this all talk?  Am I just full of myself?

Here are some pictures of me before I got mad

That is my lovely husband and me last February.  How many chins to you see?  3 - 4?  I was super heavy then.  I just didn't care.

And another  from the Fall before that.

And here I am today.  In my office with my sweet dog.  I have started my journey but have a long way to go.

Dressing on the side...of the garbage can

We all know when we diet we are suppose to eat more veggies.  Have a salad the skinny girls say...order the dressing on the side.  Order the fat free dressing.  Yeah, cause I like eating lettuce dipped in crap.  That was my life long goal...to eat crappy stuff.

So in my endeavor to eat more veggies I started my adventure into salad dressings...or as I like to say, salad hooochie mamas...cause that stuff was dressing nothing.

If I ate the 'normal' dressings, they were full of fat and chemicals and calories but they tasted good.  If I ate the 'diet' dressings...dear lord, those tasted awful and were either so sweet or chemical tasting and still had calories.  And if they took out the sugar they put in the sugar substitutes which gave me a headache and belly ache.   Ahhh...salad with a side of puking.  LOVE IT.

So, what did I do?  I looked at the stuff I liked about salad dressing.  Tangy, sweet, and fruity.  I gave up on the creamy...I knew that was not gonna happen.

So I went to the store and bought 5 things:
white wine vinegar
a good olive oil (grapeseed is good too)
dijoin mustand
no sugar added jelly of my liking (raspberry) - fruit only is awesome
raw honey

Now some of you are gonna say the jarred stuff is a couple of bucks and that stuff is pricey.  True, but you can make a lot of jars of dressing with those items plus use it for other stuff.

Now how much of this or that is kinda trial as you go.  I normally start with a 2 to 1 vinegar to olive oil with a little salt and pepper and about 1/2 teaspoon (or squirt) of mustard.  If you hate mustard, leave it out.  Put that in a plastic container with a lid and give it a really good shake.  Taste it.  Not tangy enough, add some more vinegar.  Too tangy add some more oil.  Now, if you like your dressing fruity but not sweet, add a tablespoon or less of the jelly/jam. Shake away.  If you are like me and needed a little more sweetness, give it a squirt of honey.  Shake.

This will store in the fridge.  So you can make a bunch once you find you zen and not be scrambling.  I have fallen in love with blood oranges..so I just squeeze those in instead of  the jelly.  Sometimes I use a juice to flavor it.  Sometimes just the honey.

I know, some of you are gonna say...but the sugars.  Well, yes. BUT, with this I will eat a salad or veggies EVERYDAY.  Without this, I stand at the frig and ignore the cucumbers calling to me.

Now some of you must have a creamy dressing...try this...fat free plain yogurt, a little honey, and mustard (any kind you like).  Adjust to taste.  This is a nice tangy honey mustard.

Give it a try and let me know what you think!

Exercise...but I am FAT...exercise..oh ok

Nobody with a BMI over 40 likes to exercise.  Lets all get real here.  We hate every inch of us hurting.  We hate the way people look at us.  We HATE not being able to do what othesr do. We HATE it!

So what do you do?  Sit in the recliner and watch your BMI climb to 50?  Nope friends...that is not the answer.

You try something.  ANYTHING.  What was that for me?  Bike.  I couldn't go far so I started negotiating time.  5 minute...just ride 5 minutes.  And do that a while.  In a couple of week..just ride 10 minutes....you know the story.  Walking has never been my thing...but I started parking away from the grocery.  Away from WalMart...away from everything and walked.  It didn't get better quickly...cause you know I am FAT.  But it did get better.

And now I walk a treadmill for a little while.  I bought a gazelle and I'm doing that everyday just a little while.  Am I all of the sudden skinny..oh no sunshine, I am still fat.  But I know, I am doing something for me.  Not for others, but for me.

I have had alot of good meaning skinny people suggest all kinds of routines and classes and stuff.  And that just made me mad and irritated.  When you find your own thing and do just a little of it...you will be just fine.  You will try new things and be kind to yourself.

Just try...you will be fine!

What do you do when you want cake?

OK...let's be real...I am not a strong person when it comes to cakes and bread and pastries.  I perk up at the very mention of chocolate cake.  I make mewling noises when I drive past a bakery.  It is true.  I am shameless.  I asked for croissants for my birthday.  I have issues.

So when I feel like I can't take it anymore and neeeeed cake and exercise doesn't make me forget it...I have a go to.  So this is sad so don't mock me...

plain yogurt, squeeze of honey, a little cocoa powder and a teaspoon of almond butter and stir.  Kinda tastes like graham crackers.  And then I feel ok.  Not great...but ok.

What do you do?  What do you reach for?

No soy No whey No fun? In search of protein!

In a previous post I detailed my pain with artificial sweetners and non sugar sweetners...well that was nothing compared to my protein pain.  I knew I was "soy intolerant" from a run in I had with soy in the early 2000's.  I spent months trying to figure out why my stomach was in so much distress and I was passing out in the afternoon.  The doctor finally pinpointed the soy milk I had been so happy to find.  Yes, I am lactose intolerant also...and I thought soy was my salvation...until I realized lactose wasn't so bad.

So in the past year or so, I have embraced almond milk after hating rice milk.  Almond milk has given me happiness again...lovely almond milk.  But wait, when I decided to get serious about dieting again, I knew that protein powder was going to be my savior.  So I did what all crazy techies do, I googled and compared and came up with a list of perfect protein powders.  I tried the first one...and the crazy stomach pain and headaches started again.  What I found out was, if it wasn't soy in those proteins powders it was whey (milk byproduct...curds and whey).  Now I know some of you are going to say...there is different kinds of whey, you just need to find a whey isolate (still had a headache and stomach ache) or hydrolysate (nauseous).

So what is a girl to do...I went in search of vegan protein.  Vegan's don't use anything related to animals...so this would get rid of the whey and other animal parts involved.  I also found that vegan protein powders shy away from soy.  They have become bevy of different kinds of proteins.  I finally came to GNC Total Lean Vegan Shake.  I tried alot of vegan shakes that were hard to get down but this one didn't make me hold my nose.  It has plant sources which makes my stomach happy.

There is options for people like me who are searching for protein!

If you really want to lose weight ...do this one thing

Hi friends...you really think I have the one secret?  Not a chance.  But I have a good starting point...cleaning

If you really really want to start this journey, go get a big ole plastic garbage bag.  Go to your pantry or food closet.  Throw away everything that is unhealthy (chips, crackers, candy, etc)  Go ahead, I will wait....yep that...oh yes, doritos must go...yep, those jelly beans.

Now, the stuff you have left, look at the ingredients and the nutrition information on the boxes/bags.  Anything with a bunch of sodium, a bunch of sugar, a bunch of fat..just toss it.  If the ingredient list has stuff you can't pronounce, just toss it.  Trust me.  Go ahead...I'll wait....yep, that rice-a-roni mix...yep the Frankenberry....oh honey, toss the Zatarain

Now, the refrigerator....

Same rules...if it is prepared for you by a factory...throw it out.  If it is fat laden, throw it out.  You know what is good for you.  Processed cheese is not good for you....Go ahead...I'll wait....yep, the whole milk is not your friend...yeah, velvetta has to go...ahhh, honey the candy bars...toss them.

Now, you should have good food...or no food in the fridge and pantry.

Now when you go to the store...remember this conversation.  You will feel better about your life.

How to make yogurt taste decent

Now, I am not gonna lie to you guys.  If you want all sunshine and lollipops go somewhere else.  This is the hard truth from the fat girl.  You have to stop eating crap.  You have to cut sugar.  You got to cut fat.  You got to eat stuff that really does not taste good.  And if you are like me, and can not eat soy or whey or sugar substitutes you are really wondering what the heck!

So, I am gonna try to save you some pain.

All flavored low fat yogurt has stevia or splenda or other horrendous sugar substitute that will give you a headache.  Just reality.  You are gonna have to buy zero (ZERO FAT) fat PLAIN yogurt.  That's ok...breathe in a bag...you will be fine.

Now, does that mean you have to eat that?  no...you can add stuff to it...see where I am going?

Save yourself some time...buy Fage 0.  It taste like nothing and it has mostly good stuff in it.  No I don't get money from Fage...I just like that it is neutral and doesn't make my stomach hurt.

Now...that you have this plain no calorie yucky stuff...add simple things to it.  Buy some almond butter.  Put some in there.  Buy some fruit...put it in there.  I need crunch so I chop up almonds and put it in there.  Heck, I bought some unsweetend cocoa and put it in there.  Honey is awesome with a little cinnamon.  If there is a flavor you love, add it in there.

What you won't have in there is artificial or sugar substitute which will make your head hurt.  You will not have a funky aftertaste.  You won't wish you had some apple cobbler...cause you can put apple and cinnamon and some honey in there.  Add good things to your yogurt and you will have a go to...this will help you survive.

Will it end war and cause world peace..heck no.  Will it help you stay on track...yep

What do you mean no caffeine? Somebody is gonna die!

Today I am an angry fat while girl with a headache.  Do you know to prep for gastric surgery you have to give up CAFFEINE?  Dear Lord!  Oh, and SUGAR?  So I have to stop drinking my morning coffee and if I decide to do DEFCAF, I can't have my sweet and wonderful creamer?

YES.  Friends...it is truly unamerican.  But, I am dedicated...so I am working to purge my life of caffeine.  I was always a 2 cup of coffee girl with a ton of sweet creamer.  So I have gone to 1 cup of caffeine and 1 cup of decaf with a tablespoon of creamer.  And I hate it.  The plan is to be total decaf.

You say...what about those sugar substitute non fat creamer...that has to be good....well, it would be except I can't use them.  For some unknown reason, sugar substitutes of all kinds give me a severe headache and stomach distress.  Stevia...headache.  Splenda...headache and gas.  You name it I have tried it.  Raw honey seems to be my only friend.

I will beat this CAFFEINE thing!  I have faith I will continue to chip away and finally get down to no caffeine and no sugar.

Pray for my husband!

Welcome to my Fat World

Hi there...Glad to meet you!  I am the Fat Girl...and this is my world.  What you say?  A self proclaimed fat girl?  Aren't you suppose to use some other word for FAT?  Obese? Chubby? Well, I could , but darlings...I am FAT.  At my worst I was hovering around 300 pounds.  Sometimes I hovered over 300 and well sometimes I was lucky and hovered below.  And yes, I knew I was fat.  I own mirrors.  Dang...But see, I have been fat forever.  Since about 6 years old when I first noticed I didn't have wrists like other people...or knees or ankles...just fat.  And I have been on every diet...every exercise program..I even got down to almost 200 pounds one time when I was bulimic.  But, never have I really succeeded.

Then 2015 came and I was diagnosed with high cholesterol.  Well, I was already on high blood pressure medicine.  Not we were getting serious.  In my 50's and having serious issues.  So I got serious.

I joined a program to help me lose weight and change my attitudes.  And it worked.  I lost 20 pounds pretty quickly then stopped.  I realized I was doing what every doctor said I needed to do and I was not losing weight.  Healthy eating, portion control and exercise.  This is where I would get discouraged and stop...not this time.  I got angry and went to see a doctor...and decided I wanted surgery.  Ahhh you say, the easy way out.  LOL  No, the hard way.  For the last 6 months I have been going off to doctors monthly, tracking my food, tracking my exercise and working hard to be approved for the surgery.  I am almost there.  This is my blog to track my life.

You are not a failure if you think surgery is the answer.  You are a failure if you die from being morbidly obese.

I am FAT.  I am morbidly obese.  I deserve better.

So what is the blog about?  My food, My life, my experience.  Come along!